Sunday, September 26, 2004

Come fly with me...

Yeah, so flying sucks. Almost as much as packing, but not quite. I'm writing this sitting in the international terminal in Melbourne airport. I haven't quite worked out why I'm in the international terminal for a flight to Canberra via Sydney, but I have a boarding pass and my luggage is (I hope and presume) on the plane sitting outside, so I suppose I shouldn't worry.

There's a bright orange sticker on my ticket that says "D" for domestic. This sticker seems to have an incredible affect on people: the guy at customs barely looked at my ID, and the woman trying to sell me crappy duty free as I went through security switched off alarmingly fast once she saw the distinctive orange. I guess I'm just not worthy of her terribly valuable time.

Do you think it's possible that there's an international law somewhere that dictates that the doors on toilets in international airports must be a ridiculous height off the ground? It's something that I keep on noticing - go into a toilet in the domestic terminal and you're fine. Go into a toilet in an international toilet and you're lucky if the door is low enough to hide things that total strangers are not supposed to see. It's just not good enough people, and I want an answer!

(as you may have already noticed, this post is destined to be a rambling, incoherent piece of nothingness, as I keep on writing and writing until my flight is called.)

I'm flying business class the entire way to Canberra (woohoo! for crappy frequent flyer flights!), and from what I've seen so far: it's the only way to fly man! Mega leg-room, actual glass plates and metal cutlery, and kick-arse food. I actually got a bacon and egg mcmuffin! And there was museli in a real bowl with real milk, but I wasn't enough inspired. And a real apple! I didn't eat it, but let's all note the presence of real food. To those losers in economy I say: "SUCKERS!!" I'm even more excited about the possible treatment on this next flight: it's an international flight going on to... somewhere (I'm guessing somewhere in Israel, judging by the passengers sitting around me), and international flights mean kick-arse business class.

I have my new wireless card in, which is very exciting. Of course it's not connected to anything, but it looks very professional, sticking out of the side of my shiny silver laptop like that, flashing it's little lights. I actually got the whiff of a network when I first put it in, but "poof!", it's gone. Not enough signal strength, ro something like that, I'm guessing. I'm not particularly well-versed in this new-fangled wireless stuff. I guess I could get up and try somewhere else but... wel, that would mean moving, and I'm kinda scared to move away from the gate: they've already changed it a couple of times.

A little girl sitting across from me seems fascinated by my computer. Yeah, that's right dearie, I've got a kick-arse laptop, and you don't. So there. Although you do have a very cool bright pink Disney suitcase, so I guess we're even.

Any opinions on the new Qantas uniforms? Much better than the last ones, certainly, but well... kinda boring? Very stylish and all, but dull.

The Jetstar guy who checked me in this morning was terribly and utterly confused by my flights. He printed out all these boarding passes and was about to give them to me when I guess he realised that "hey! That flight number doesn't look quite right. Maybe that's an international flight..." or something like that. Anyway, he eventually got it all organised, but only after searching through all the desk drawers at the entire check-in counter looking for a distinctive orange "D". "we don't get many of these..."

There's a guy actually shaving in the corner over there. He's just pulled out his electric razor, and started going at it. Isn't that a security risk or something? And, you know, weird.

These seats seem to have specifically designed to be the most uncomfortable seats known to man. They're too hard, they're a weird shape, and there's this *thing* sticking into my back that I'm sure is not supposed to be there.

My boarding pass says that this flight should be boarding at 7.10. It's now 8.13. I don't understand airlines...

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