An open letter

Dear Person who thinks it's acceptable to write in library books,

Guess what? It's not acceptable to write in library books! Ever! Please, explain the thought processes that went through your obviously miniscule-brain when you decided that using a highlighter and a blue pen in The Antifederalist Papers was a good idea. Because you know what? It wasn't. I agree with the person who wrote the following on the front page: "To the 'thing' that has underlined their relevant lines in blue pen - you are truely a real jerk." (I'll even forgive this person his atrocious spelling, simply because he wrote the message - and it was in pencil)

And to the person who has so generously covered chapter 1 of The Unraveling of America by Matusow with their insightful thoughts on Kennedy's form of liberalism: your thoughts? Not all that insightful. Actually, they're pretty dumb, and are distracting me from the actually insightful stuff in the text.

Say it with me, people: it's called a photocopier. You take the library book, you put it on the glass bit, and press the big green button. Then, like magic, you get a copy of the book all to yourself! You can cover that copy with your inane green-highlighter shit all you want, and (here's hoping!) leave the book itself the fuck alone. Because even after you're long gone from this university, flipping burgers at McDonald's because, well, you're stupid, people like me still have to use that book that you defaced, and we don't like it.

Kind regards,
Mads